Traditional Jewish Wedding Rituals
A traditional Jewish wedding is unlike any other wedding. Filled with symbolism, metaphors, dances, prayers and multiple ceremonies, the traditional Jewish wedding is much more than a simple commitment ceremony. Beginning with a matchmaking ceremony, spiritual devotion is studied in stages before a lifelong partner is chosen. Contrary to common belief, this practice also requires that both people be physically, emotionally and spiritually attracted to each other.
Before all the magic of the traditional Jewish wedding begins, a matchmaking ceremony (Shidduch) is held. In the tightly knit Jewish culture, family members are often close friends with neighboring Jewish families. These friends discuss the compatibility of their friends’ children, and recommend that the young people meet. Similar to a first date, a Shidduch is meant for both people to discuss religious compatibility, as well as for small talk and discovering common interests.
If the couple hit it off and decide to marry one another, the families of the couple meet in what is called a Vort, or engagement. This is a reception where the families get to know each other, sometimes signing a Tenaim. A Tenaim is a document showing what each family is obliged to contribute to the marriage.
One week before a traditional Jewish wedding, the young couple are separated, so they will grow fonder of each other every day, and make the marriage day more joyous.
When the big day arrives, the first ceremony is the signing of the Ketubah. A Ketubah is like a prenuptial agreement, stating what the groom is to give the bride if he should ever divorce her and what is to be left to her upon his death. This is accompanied by hard liquor and food, the Jewish toast to life. The Ketubah is a treasured heirloom, inlaid with gold leaf and framed, proudly displayed on the den or living room wall.
The next ceremony in a traditional Jewish wedding is called Bedekin. Watching, you might think you are viewing a fairytale about a princess. The bride sits regally on a high-backed, throne-like chair. The groom approaches, hanging the brides’ veil over her face. This ritual is not metaphorical but is instead a legal act in which the groom claims the bride as his own.
The Chuppah is the actual wedding. Held outdoors under a white canopy, this ceremony invokes the words of Abraham, “The children of God shall be as the stars of Heavenâ€. Wearing a white robe, the groom prays as his bride circles him seven times, with her mother and her husband’s mother. The seven times symbolize the seven days of creation. When the groom places the wedding band on his bride’s finger, it’s called Kiddushin.
The rabbi then recites several Psalms and praises to God, followed by the groom stomping on a glass. This ritual dates back thousands of years, in remembrance of the struggles of the Jewish people. The final act is the Cheder Yichud, when husband and wife are allowed to be alone behind closed doors, which in Jewish law makes a legal marriage.
Written by Tuppy on January 2nd, 2007 with
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